Poem by Heather Meloche

Admission of Guilt and Hope
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Because I breathe

breathe

my parents scrape together temp and part-                       time jobs, always working, bone weary,                                sleep screaming More! More! More! inside                        their stress-filled heads because I

must have a school backpack, pencils,                                erasers, three-ring binder, photos of myself                        for a collage of my life, real pajamas for                                Pajama Day, Mom screaming Can’t. Can’t. 
Sorry. (and she means it) and Dad gone                                already for an extended shift because I

breathe

need the light switch to work to do                                    homework, no candles left, batteries in the
flashlight drained, no power or soap to run                        the washing machine to clean the smells                            from my clothes because I

breathe

my stomach churns, demanding, howling,                            teeth-gnaw pain like it’s eating itself alive,                        and Mom knows, brings four packets of                                expired Saltines in crinkly wrapping from a                        house she’s cleaned, gives her portion to                            me, mumbles she hopes Dad finds half-                               eaten food somewhere on his current work                        site and doesn’t steal to eat again, no use to                        us in jail, because I

breathe

Mom talks in her sleep, cries through her                            dreams, and

I

hold her hand while she thrashes, count                            pennies and the dime I’ve collected from                            the ground and wish and wish while 
knowing things

cost

more than our hope and that this life we                            simply stand in may always be

too much

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Heather Smith Meloche is a Pushcart-nominated poet and writer whose work has appeared in Spider, Open Minds Quarterly, and Young Adult Review Network (YARN). She has placed twice in the children’s/YA category of the Writer’s Digest Annual Writing Competition and won first place for Hunger Mountain’s Katherine Paterson Prize in 2011 for a short story in verse. Penguin Putnam released her debut novel, Ripple, a contemporary young adult novel, in September 2016. She lives in Michigan with her husband and two boys.

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